


Here In This World I'm Awaked With Mistakes

by sapphistication



Series: Tumblr Shenanigans [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddles, Established Relationship, Finn gives good hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, let the boy get some sleep smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26651308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphistication/pseuds/sapphistication
Summary: After the Battle of Crait, Poe is as exhausted and tired as everyone else on the Millenium Falcon. Maybe even more so. But he can't sleep, can't let himself allow to rest when the others need it more, when there is so much to be done, so many thoughts to be thought. They need to be on top of everything, they need to escape, they need to be safe. Really, there is no room for sleep. Only for badly suppressed panic after going through hell. And then, of course, there is Finn.----Another one of those Kiss Prompts: Forehead Kisses & "No! No! No! Wake up! Please!" for TheCarrot.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: Tumblr Shenanigans [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861633
Comments: 10
Kudos: 63





	Here In This World I'm Awaked With Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheCarrot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCarrot/gifts).



> I posted this one a while ago on my tumblr, but since I've been quiet for a while when it comes to creativity, I thought I might as well post this one to AO3 as well. Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Warning for Poe's spiralling thoughts and panic and absolute inability to take care of himself. Please be safe <3
> 
> Title from Of Mice & Men's "When you can't sleep at night"

Poe was shaking, vibrating out of his body just trying to process everything that happened in the matter of a few days. They had to abandon their base on D'Qar, Leia almost died, Finn left with Rose, Poe started a mutiny for them, Holdo died, Finn lost, Leia shot him, Finn nearly died, then Finn came back, ignored his direct orders and nearly died again, and then by a sheer miracle, they made it out of the salt mines of Crait and Rey saved them.

And Finn didn't talk to him. And Poe didn't talk to anyone. He was shaking, wandering up and down the _Falcon_ , making sure that nobody was badly injured, every injury was tended to, everyone had a little bit of food and company and nobody was alone at this time.

In fact, Poe was the only one who didn't have company. BB-8 had powered down somewhere after running on full energy for so long, Leia had Rey, and Finn was watching over Rose. And Poe was tired. He could still feel that explosion in his bones, he still felt like all the air was being pushed out of his lungs by the power of the shockwave and that this was it, that he was going to die any second now.

But that must have been two days ago, at least. He'd lost his sense of time more and more with every Resistance member he lost. He didn't have hope left either as he wandered the _Falcon_ obsessively. All he had was a bone-deep tiredness, fear, the rapid shaking of his hands, and a massive headache that came from not resting for days on end. From being awake for at least three days, from working, from being the one who had a plan, from trying to be be the spark that could light the fire that would burn the First Order down.

Right now he was no spark. Right now he was tired.

But he couldn't sleep, he had to make sure everyone was fine. He had to make sure that everyone else was getting the sleep that they deserved.

His eyes hurt and he saw things that weren't there, people that weren't there, friends that weren't- _Paige_. Paige and so many more and it was all his fault, he hadn't been enough, hadn't been there, should have been there, should have been better, should have-

"No, shut up," he whispered to himself, voice hoarse, wiping the tears from his eyes and trying to breathe through the lump in his throat, trying to tune out the malicious voice inside his head. He leaned against a wall, away from prying eyes, away because they were so few left, because they had all died, because he hadn't been enough.

Sliding down the wall and burying his face in his knees, he wanted his dad. He wanted his mama, and he wanted Finn and he wanted a hug and he wanted to not have to fight anymore for a few days, he wanted to sleep and to rest and to be happy and to smile at someone and mean it again, like it was sometimes with Finn. And he wanted for his mind to stop racing, but he was just so damn tired he couldn't quite make it.

He took a deep breath.

Finn. He needed Finn. Needed to make sure he was okay, that he wasn't still in that bacta container on the _Raddus_ , that he hadn't been shot down, that he had made it onto the Falcon because what if Poe had hallucinated? What if they forgot about Finn and Poe only remembered now and it was too late?

Was Finn here? Was Finn alive and well and here with him? He didn't know, couldn't remember, he was so tired. So tired he didn't know anything. 

And he had to make sure. So he rose on shaking legs, pushed himself away from the wall with trembling hands that would never be able to fly an X-Wing anymore if he didn't get a grip, if he didn't stop being a failure.

The _Falcon_ was quiet save for Poe's heavy steps and a few pained moans here and there. His eyes hurt as he made his way back to where he thought Finn would be, and he couldn't tell if he was crying again or if it was from the tiredness. He couldn't tell. And he didn't care. He just needed to make sure Finn was there.

"Finn?" he called, his voice quiet and hoarse and desperate, the lump in his throat refusing to disappear anytime soon. "Finn," he tried again, but it was no louder than a whisper. 

There he was. On a bunk, eyes closed, not moving, lifeless. Possibly asleep but probably not because how could he be asleep just like that? Where was the bacta container? Where were the life support systems and why wasn't Finn attached. Why wasn't Finn moving? Was he breathing? Poe couldn't see, his vision swimming too much as he lost his footing and sank to his knees by Finn's side.

"No. No, no, no! Wake up! Please!" His trembling hands ran through Finn's short hair, desperate for him to show any signs of life so Poe's sleep-deprived brain could move on.

He was crying now, definitely, but he didn't care, he just wanted for Finn to be okay and for the headache to go away and for every member they'd lost to come back. _Please, just…_ "Tell me you're okay, Finn," he whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead with a morbid sense of deja-vu from when he had sat by Finn's side in the med-bay on D'Qar. He'd said those exact words. "Please wake up, Finn."

Only this time, Finn did stir, blinking up at him with tired eyes. "Poe?" he asked with a rough, confused, exhausted voice.

"Finn!" Poe exclaimed and wrapped his arms around the other man, pressing his forehead against Finn's chest.

Groaning a bit, Finn sat up, fixing Poe with a tired but no less worried glance. "Poe, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Poe nodded, still too tired to really feel the movement, and wanted to get up and let Finn sleep again as his heart calm down. But Finn wouldn't let him get up. He took Poe's hands in his and kept him where he was.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I'll let you sleep. Sorry. I'm just. I was worried and you weren't moving and I'm tired and you looked like- I'm sorry. I'll. Yeah. Sorry."

"Poe," Finn sighed softly and pulled him in, shuffling a bit so Poe could lie down next to him. "Poe, you're okay. I'm okay. We're alive on the Falcon and we're gonna get through this. I'm okay. You need to sleep."

Poe shook his head, tried to pull out of Finn's grasp but the other man had wrapped his arms around him already in a grip he couldn't possibly escape as tired as he was. "No, no, Finn, I need to make sure they're all fine, I need to make sure everyone's safe, I need to-"

"You need to sleep," Finn said calmly, pulling Poe against his chest like he knew he desperately needed a hug and for this beautiful, brave man to never let go again. Finn turned to lie on his back, pulling Poe in so his head could rest on Finn's chest. "Listen," he whispered, carding the hand that wasn't holding Poe's through his mess of curls. "That's my heart, I'm safe, I'm fine. You did that. You're good, Poe. You can sleep now. Get some rest."

Lying down for the first time since before they had to leave D'Qar, Poe couldn't quite fight the tiredness anymore. His eyes closed on their own accord and he wrapped his arms around Finn in surrender, listening closely to the rapid but steady beating of Finn's heart. Finn was warm and alive under him, and that meant maybe Poe hadn't failed completely, so maybe he deserved some sleep now. Maybe everything else could wait for a few hours.

There were lips pressed to his forehead and he heard Finn whisper, "Sleep, Poe. You deserve some sleep. I got you."


End file.
